Friday May 9

End of year dance show for me. My class is the adult beginners modern class. We sat in the backstage hall waiting our time. 

Some of us putting on our make up. "Who can see? Can you help me?" So it was me who put my friend's mascara and eyeliner on for her. I have so little experience with make up but she had apparently even less and with pure white eyelashes, it was a good idea. 

I danced from grade five through to grade twelve and then when I got to UBC I found a dance club and kept it up for a bit longer. But then I quit going and at least fifteen years passed on by. I quit dancing because it wasn't making me feel happy. There was too much of people coming in to class and moaning about how much pasta they had the night before and how fat their legs looked today. Everyone one them thinner than me. It changed the focus from dancing to looking good enough. And I didn't like the energy in the room anymore. It was just a club. We were all there because we loved to dance. Nobody was getting any school credits or getting paid or getting judged. It really was supposed to be just for fun. And for me, it wasn't fun anymore, and was wasting my small amount of spare money. So it just made sense to stop. 

But I love to dance and when I started back up again sixteen years later I wondered why I kept away so long. I feel joyful and alive when I dance. It's in my bones. 

And I really like my adult beginner class. We had fun in the show!